mindfulness

  • Mindful Presence: Finding Sweetness in the Moment (Not in the Pantry)

    There was a time when I didn’t even realize how often I was reaching for sugar just to soothe myself through the chaos. A moment of frustration, a tired afternoon, a noisy room full of tiny voices calling “Mom!” on repeat — and suddenly I’d be halfway through a pack of chocolate chips, barely remembering how they got into my hand.

    But lately, I’ve been practicing something different.

    I’m learning to come back to the moment — especially with my kids. Not the perfect, Instagram-worthy moment, but the messy, beautiful, in-between ones: when my son is telling me a long story about his latest Minecraft creation, or when my daughter wants to show me the same jump for the tenth time. Those are the moments I used to try to escape with sugar. Now, I’m trying to be in them instead.

    One thing I’ve noticed: the more I resist the present moment, the more I try to control everything around me — especially my kids. I tighten up. I start snapping, micromanaging, needing everything to be just so. But when I soften into what’s actually happening, even if it’s inconvenient or chaotic, I’m a lot more grounded. The urge to control fades. The need for sugar fades too.

    The other day I was outside with the kids, and I felt that familiar surge of overwhelm as my mental to-do list started spiraling: I should be working, I should be cleaning, I should be catching up. I could feel the pressure in my chest building, thoughts racing. But instead of getting swept up in it, I noticed the chaos in my head. I deepened my breath. And I looked at my kids.

    They were just… playing. Laughing. Being kids.

    So I stayed. I chose to watch them, to really see them — and suddenly, everything softened. I felt so grateful for that moment: my kids playing together, the sunshine on my skin, the stillness that was waiting for me underneath all that mental noise. That presence was everything. And it was so much sweeter than anything I could have found in the pantry.

    This isn’t about guilt or being the perfect parent. It’s about choosing presence over autopilot. Choosing connection over comfort food. Choosing to feel what’s happening instead of numbing it away.

    And honestly? It’s not always easy. Sometimes I still get the urge to disappear into a bag of trail mix or sneak a handful of something sweet while no one’s looking. But I’m getting better at pausing. Breathing. Noticing.

    And when I do that — when I stop resisting and just let the moment be what it is — I often realize the thing I was running from isn’t as scary or overwhelming as it felt. Sometimes I even find joy in it.

    So now, when I feel that pull to run to the pantry, I try to ask myself:

    What if the sweetness I’m craving is already right here?

    Because one day, the toys won’t be scattered everywhere. The interruptions will quiet. And I know I’ll miss it — all of it. These days are fleeting, and I want to live them, not numb my way through them.

    ✨ Try This: A Simple Presence Practice

    Next time you feel yourself spiraling with stress or reaching for sugar out of habit, try this tiny reset:

    1. Pause.
    2. Put one hand on your heart or belly.
    3. Take three slow, deep breaths.
    4. Name one thing you can see, one thing you can hear, and one thing you can feel.
    5. Whisper to yourself: “I’m safe to be here now.”

    It might seem small, but this shift can help you return to your body — and to the life that’s happening around you.

    🌱 Presence Reminders for Daily Life

    Here are some gentle cues I’ve used to reconnect when I feel myself slipping into control or autopilot:

    – Every time I sip my water, I take a breath and come back to my body.
    – When my child says “Mom!” for the tenth time, I use that as a grounding moment instead of a trigger.
    – I leave my phone in another room while spending time with my kids, even just for 10 minutes.
    – I keep a sticky note nearby that says “This is the moment.”

    🧡 One Moment is Enough

    If you’re reading this and feeling like it’s hard to be present — you’re not alone.
    But maybe today, you can choose one moment to slow down and stay.
    One moment to soften instead of control.
    One moment to breathe and look around you, just like I did outside with my kids.
    That one moment is enough. And it’s a start.

  • How I Took My Power Back in the Middle of a Snack Spiral

    Last night, I had one of those moments—the kind that used to completely unravel me. I was tired. I’d eaten more than I wanted to that day. My body felt uncomfortable and full of that familiar guilt I know too well. But it wasn’t just about food—I’d been carrying a lot emotionally too. I’d uncovered deep truths about myself, about my past, about patterns I’ve lived in for years. It was heavy.

    And in the middle of all that, the thought showed up: fruit snacks.
    That quiet, almost automatic whisper—“Just eat them. You already messed up today anyway.”

    And for years, I’ve listened to that voice. I’ve turned to food when things felt too big.
    Not because I was hungry, but because I didn’t know how else to self-soothe.
    Not because I didn’t care, but because it felt like the only comfort I had.
    And I hated that. I hated how fast I could go from tired and overwhelmed to numbing myself with sugar. It always felt like a betrayal—to my body, to my goals, to the version of me that I’m trying to become.

    The Pattern I’m Breaking

    Usually, the story in my head goes something like this:

    “You’ve already messed up today.”
    “You’re uncomfortable anyway, what’s one more thing?”
    “Just eat the fruit snacks. You’ll feel better.”

    And maybe I would—for about three minutes.
    But then came the spiral: regret, shame, more guilt, more discomfort.
    The food was never the problem. It was the way I was using it to disconnect from myself.

    What I’m learning is that the urge to eat like that—fast, disconnected, reactive—isn’t about weakness. It’s a trauma response. It’s survival-mode. It’s my body trying to rescue me from emotional overwhelm the only way it knew how.

    Last Night Was Different

    But something shifted in me last night.

    I noticed the thought.
    I paused.
    I breathed.
    And I said, “No. Not this time.”

    Not out of punishment. Not out of willpower.
    But because I finally felt strong enough to sit in the discomfort. To stay connected to myself instead of abandoning her again.

    I reminded myself that I was safe, even in the mess. That I could feel full and emotionally raw and still not need to numb it. I let the craving rise and fall. I told the voice in my head, “I hear you. But I’m choosing me instead.”

    And it passed.

    It Wasn’t About the Fruit Snacks

    It was about the story behind them.

    It was about the part of me that always believed comfort only comes in a package.
    The part of me that thought I had to numb my feelings to survive.
    The part of me that was trained to self-abandon the moment things got hard.

    But that part of me isn’t running the show anymore.
    Last night wasn’t just about saying no to fruit snacks.
    It was about saying yes to me.

    To the woman who is learning to stay.
    To the woman who no longer needs to prove anything through perfection.
    To the woman who can feel big feelings without reaching for something to quiet them.
    To the woman who is healing.

    And that small win? It was huge.
    Because it reminded me that I am not powerless.
    I am not broken.
    I am not owned by my cravings or my past.

    I am learning to love myself not just when I get it all right, but especially when I don’t.
    And that, right there, is where real transformation begins.