This week has felt different — in the best way. For a long time, I was just going through the motions as a mom. I was there physically, but my mind was everywhere else: thinking about work, my to-do list, what to make for dinner, or just waiting for bedtime so I could finally relax.
But lately, I’ve found my groove. And it’s changing everything.
Healing My Nervous System
The biggest shift started with me. For years, I was living in constant fight-or-flight mode — rushing, reacting, trying to control everything. No wonder I didn’t have the capacity to be fully present with my kids.
Over the last few months, I’ve been intentionally healing my nervous system, which has looked like:
- Releasing trapped emotions that were stuck in my body and weighing me down.
- Feeling my heart more instead of staying numb or disconnected from my emotions.
- Meditating regularly, even for just a few minutes a day, to slow my thoughts and reconnect with my breath.
- Choosing slow, intentional movement (like walking, stretching, or gentle yoga) instead of always rushing from task to task.
- Doing less throughout the day and letting go of the guilt for not being “productive” every second.
- Somatic exercises to bring my body back to a state of safety and regulation.
Bit by bit, my body has started to feel safe again — and that safety has opened up space for connection.
A Huge Realization
This past weekend, I uncovered something huge about myself. Growing up as a middle child, I didn’t get much attention. And now, as an adult, I notice how that’s been showing up everywhere: craving attention from my husband, wanting my kids to notice me, even seeking it from my work team.
Realizing this was eye-opening. It helped me see why giving my children undivided attention matters so much. I don’t want them to grow up feeling unseen the way I often did. Instead, I want them to feel deeply loved, heard, and valued — not through big gestures, but through the simple act of me being present with them.
The Power of Presence
Now that I feel calmer inside, I can actually show up for my kids. Not distracted, not halfway listening while I scroll my phone or mentally plan tomorrow. Just there — noticing the silly things they say, getting on the floor to play, and being interested in what lights them up.
And you know what? Their behavior has changed. There are fewer meltdowns, fewer sibling fights, and way more giggles. When I’m grounded and engaged, they feel safe and seen. And when they feel that way, everything runs more smoothly.
How I’m Making It Possible
I’ve realized that showing up for my kids starts with showing up for myself.
- Daily Movement – Moving my body every day helps me process stress and reset my mind.
- Choosing Foods that Support Me – I’ve been cutting back on sugar, not from a place of restriction, but because I feel so much better without the highs and crashes.
- Little Moments of Joy – Reading a few pages of a book, taking a hot shower, or sipping tea before bed fills me up so I can pour into my family.
These small habits are helping my nervous system stay regulated, which means I can respond with patience instead of reacting out of stress.
The Ripple Effect
I didn’t expect the shift in my energy to ripple into my whole house, but it has. The mornings feel calmer. Playtime feels lighter. Even bedtime feels less like a battle and more like a connection point.
And maybe that’s the secret — when I take care of me, I have the capacity to take care of them, too. And when I make sure my kids feel truly seen, I’m breaking a generational pattern of disconnection.
Your Turn
If you’ve been stuck in survival mode, I see you. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but you can start today. Take a deep breath, release some tension in your body, choose one thing that feels nourishing — and most importantly, give your kids a few moments of undivided attention. It might change more than you think.
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